Chicken and ROCK GUITAR LEGENDS

New Clean Eating Magazine Day!!!!

Today my August/September 2012 issue of Clean Eating showed up on my tablet. Which, of course, means fuck yea, more culinary exploration!! And I wasted no time getting started. As soon as I read pg. 51's Spicy Raspberry Balsamic Chicken Breasts, I knew what I would be indulging in tonight.

I had to alter the recipe slightly to accommodate my food allergies. Broccoli never agrees with my stomach, and, of course, my bullshit gluten drama. So instead of Bulgur and Broccoli, I made brown rice and a steamed mixed vegetable medley.

Yuhuhuhm 

Commonlaw Spouseoid immediately put it on the 'favorites' list. The sweetness of the honey and raspberries is the perfect compliment to the tanginess of the white wine vinegar. And adding the tiniest bit of heat with the chili flakes, no flavor was too overpowering. I think I may have set a land-speed record in eating, it was plate-licking good.

I'm glad that this week, we're back on the healthy eating train. Commonlaw Spouseoid was out of town for 10 days a few weeks ago doing techie brainy stuff for Calgary Stampede. Fireworks, audio, lighting, all that jazz. So while he was gone, I not only ate UBER-HEALTHY, but I ran a lot and worked out a lot.

THEN HE RETURNED.

And I was really excited to see him. It's the longest that we've been away from each other since we started dating, and I missed him terribly. (Didn't help that, since he had been gone, I had read the entire trilogy of "50 Shades of Grey" and watched "Magic Mike", so... you know... there was that too). Anyways, aside from THAT, there was no working out, there were a few celebratory drinks, dinners, late night snack and gab sessions, etc. Couple that with the fact that Snoop Dogg was in town a few days after he came back, and Slash feat. Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators played 2 days after THAT... there were a lot of quick eat and run moments, followed by late LATE night snacks and NO SLEEP. And just when I was feeling SUPER-GUILTY about the destruction of my healthy scheduled lifestyle....

THIS HAPPENED.

Me and Slash. We're tight. (SQUEE!!!)

And suddenly I regretted nothing, and determined that one week's worth of no sleep, bad eating habits, no breakfasts and no workouts was 100% worth it. Because Slash is basically the coolest fucking cat on the planet. And I can not only scratch something off of my bucket list, but light it on fire and dance on it to the tune of Paradise City, because it was THAT COOL.

(For those of you who are interested, Slash was incredibly kind and sweet. He went around individually, shook our hands, asked our names and personally thanked us for coming to the show, then he signed whatever we wanted and took photos. And then he made sure to say goodbye, and thanked us again for coming. NO SLASH. THANK YOU. He's a true professional and a BLOODY GOD.)

So, now I've (mostly) caught up on my sleep, and can get back on track. Tonight after our delicious Spicy Raspberry Balsamic Chicken, I made a Jerk Marinade from last month's issue of Clean Eating Magazine that I have been DYING to try. It's a clean, low fat/calorie version of Jerk Chicken, and I can't WAIT to try it tomorrow. It's marinading in the fridge right now, the marinade smells divine. I'm thinking of making a Lime-Peanut Slaw that's in the same June/July issue of CE. Not sure if it will pair, but because it's a cold salad and might offset the heat of the jerk chicken, I think it'll be a safe bet. Time will tell! As will my guests.... usually I test a recipe before feeding it to others, but I'm going balls to the walls with this one.

Pre-Puree Marinade

Post-Puree.... Jerk Vomit, no?

Warning: Rant Territory.

It's certainly not easy to have a significant allergy in this society.

Although it has become much easier and more accommodating, it's unfortunate that some people don't understand what it's like. And why would they? When they can eat whatever they want and not sit on a throne for the next few hours.

Obviously, this is all inspired by recent events, however, not an uncommon occurrence.

"We're going to this pub tonight. You guys are coming."
"Oh, well, they really don't have a gluten free menu at all, so I think I'll eat at home quickly and meet up with you later."
"Uh, they have salad..."

Awesome. Because that's exactly what I really want to eat while everyone else is diving into their wings & beer. I really want to be munching on a pub salad. Which we all know, is made up of iceberg lettuce, a piece of grilled chicken flavored with salt and pepper, a few sliced tomatoes, carrots and cucumbers (if you're lucky), and Kraft dressing. Hold me back, yo.

Who DOESN'T want to go out and pay out the nose for this? Me. That's who.

I think it's common misconception that fit people LOOOOVE generic salads. Like, we sit at home in front of the TV and munch lettuce leaves like they're potato chips. And maybe some people do, (See my previous posts Flippin' For Kale Chips and Kale Chip Chronicles: Pt II). I'm not judging anyone. In fact, maybe that's the secret to that little bit of stubborn belly fat that I can't seem to get rid of. Unless we're talking about a wicked good Asian chicken salad with peanut sauce, or a strawberry balsamic spinach salad, or a cedar planked salmon salad... that's something with some flavor and substance. That's a meal. It's not weak grilled chicken on iceberg lettuce. Now don't get me wrong, I don't expect pubs to start stocking champagne berry mixed field greens. This isn't the establishment's fault.

 My point is, that, when I'm finished a long day's work, I would like to put something in my stomach that
A: Has some kind of nutritional value
B: Satisfies my appetite
C: Tastes relatively good.

And by only having one.... that's right, one option on the menu that was gluten free, I didn't have a choice. Iceberg lettuce with chicken it is. 

If I eat something quickly at home, and then meet up with you after dinner (which would only make me late by about 3/4 of an hour), I shouldn't be treated like I'm an idiot or antisocial. It means that I actually want to fuel my temple so that I can enjoy your company even more, without being distracted with the disappointment of what I'm picking at and the aftereffects of feeling unfulfilled and hungry. Because what did I do when I got home later that night? I binged. I ate anything I could get my hands on that was in the fridge. And then I felt like shit for the rest of the night.

The point of this rant is, don't treat people with distain based on their own concern regarding something that they can't control. I certainly don't want to be gluten intolerant, but I am. At least I have control over how I can handle it. And if it's by altering my lifestyle slightly to accommodate it to live as normally as possible, I shouldn't be looked down upon. It's not like I've hermited myself in my house and don't ever go out. I go out all the time. I think I've done a damned good job of not letting my social life be affected by my new allergy, and most people respect the compromises I have to make. But I don't appreciate being bullied.

I leave you with a link to a hilariously entertaining little site, called Shitty Salad.

That is all.
End Rant.

General Hooper

Wow, has it REALLY been that long since I've posted anything? Sheesh..

Well, for starters, I've got the motivation to kick my ass back into summer. I got 3 tweetbacks from my hero, the almighty Tosca Reno, and it has absolutely motivated me to shut up and work out! And that's probably why I have been absent, because I have been working on new fun ways to make working out more enjoyable for myself. Also because it's all thunderstormy.

RUNNING: A little while ago, I got back into it. And then my knee started giving me troubles. So I took some time off, let it heal, and then got back to interval running. But instead of pushing myself, I eased into a walking/running routine, and really focused on my pace, my form and my feet.

 I don't think I've ever payed attention to what my body is doing while I'm pounding the path, and the first time that I made myself conscious to my alignment, my body responded with no pain (aside from a bit of stiffness the next day, but that's to be expected after a break)!
I also downloaded a kickass app called "Zombies, Run!" on my Android. It's tres cool. It gives you 'missions' and starts telling you a story, and in between songs on your phone, it propels the story, and you have to outrun hordes and pick up supplies, and then once you're home (like, have physically run home), you can transfer them to your 'base' on your computer. I know, I know, it sounds super-nerdy. But it actually is pretty neat motivation! I'm totally into the story, and want to go for a run so that I can hear more. Hey, whatever gets you out, it's worth it!

I also took up a new hobby. I've got a friend who does hooping. I know, it sounds like one of the Hard Limits of The Contract in "50 Shades of Grey". But it's not sexual, however, I've got some guy friends who would likely beg to differ. It's hula hooping!
I used to hula hoop as a kid, in fact, I did it a lot, and was pretty good at it. We had this 'circus day' in my elementary school, and I was practicing to be 'Super Hooper' (yeah yeah, I would have laughed my ass off as a parent as well). And I hooped with 10 hoops. And I thought I was shizzle-bomb-bizzle. But then I saw my friend hoop as an adult, and she totally kicks my 10 year old ass. She dances, does tricks, and makes all of us that can just make it go round and round our waists look like giant pussies. So I wanna know how to look kickass and cool like her.

I made my own hoop out of 3/4 inch PVC underground sprinkler tubing that Commonlaw Spouseoid had lying around (only HE would be the kind of person where you would say, "I gotta go to Totem to get some 3/4 inch PVC underground sprinkler tubing", and he'd be like, "Oh, I've got miles of that in the garage." OF COURSE YOU DO. HOW STUPID OF ME.). I bought a $0.49 connector, and then Commonlaw Spouseoid brought gaffe tape home from the theatre for me to decorate it with. Voila. My own custom hoop.

And after hours of backyard training, I knocked my glasses off of my face 3 times, almost lost it over our backyard hill 5 times, hit the window 1 time, and got countless bumps and bruises on my hips, arms, ribcage, face and legs.... I can now do the 'lift up' and the 'corkscrew down'!! Even though they look clumbsy and not graceful in the least. But it's a start. Anyways, it's a GREAT ab workout, very challenging!